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A diary, I guess

  • Music

    I love music so fucking much. Currently I have over 3,000 songs on my iPod. There’s probably no way I’ll sit down and listen to them all, but I wish I could. It’s just so beautiful, all the different beats and voices and instruments that blend together. And lyrics are pretty too. I love almost all music.… Read more

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  • Nightmares

    I have nightmares all the time. The real reason that I got rid of my normal bed and got a futon is because it’s closer to the ground. So when I roll around in my sleep and fall off it doesn’t hurt. My therapist (my old one, I don’t go anymore) said it’s because I… Read more

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  • The Future

    I’m going to be 18 in 13 days. I’m going to graduate in May. I’m going to be off to college by September. The future seems so overwhelming to me. I need to find a job, because I need money. I need to find a job really bad. I’ve applied at like nine places but… Read more

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  • Relationships

    I’m not talking about romantic relationships specifically, just any type of relationship with another person. I don’t have any solid relationships. Not even Allen knows about my eating disorder or my cutting (he does know I take antidepressants though). I don’t have anyone I can just talk to about anything. I sometimes lay in bed and… Read more

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  • Suicide

    Oh, I just thought that I should mention, so it won’t seem strange when I blog about it later, that I’m suicidal. I think about killing myself all the time. Almost every night. I think the only thing stopping me is my family/friends. I know it would mess them up pretty bad. Read more

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