Nightmares

I have nightmares all the time. The real reason that I got rid of my normal bed and got a futon is because it’s closer to the ground. So when I roll around in my sleep and fall off it doesn’t hurt. My therapist (my old one, I don’t go anymore) said it’s because I am “haunted”. I don’t know what the hell that means though. Like, disturbed? I don’t know.

I just know that I’m messed up and I hate sleeping around other people because when I have a nightmare and start flipping shit they get all worried. Allen and Nicole are the only people who know about how frequent they are.

The one I have most often is a reoccurring one about a cannibalistic clown. It climbs into my bedroom while I’m laying in bed, and just starts torturing me. I’m paralyzed and can’t even scream. It tortures me and then eats me. I just sit there and feel the pain.

Now you understand my extreme fear of clowns.

Besides the clown dream, my usual nightmares are always different. They’re always crazy and disturbing. Like watching someone torture Allen, or being brutally murdered by Steve. I once had one where Nicole was a mass murderer and really just went around shooting everyone in sight.

They really scare me. I don’t know how to make them go away.