Friendship, Proposals, Homework

I had a long talk with Allen today about friendship.

See, Allen, Nicole, our friend Laura, and I all hang out together as a group most of the time. Usually we all go to my house and play board games or watch movies or whatever and then we all sleep over. Well, this weekend Laura was really excited to have us over because her mom is out of town (her mother hates me, but more on that later). The thing is, Laura’s father is still in town, and he doesn’t know that Allen is gay, so he would never let him stay the night. Allen then felt really left out and decided not to come hang out at all (as opposed to coming over for a little while and then leaving in the evening). The reason he felt bad was because Laura didn’t even attempt to talk to her father, and even ask if Allen could stay over. Her father probably would have said no, but he just wanted her to try.

That’s what started our conversation. After school the four of us went to get tacos (I cleverly avoided finishing mine, again). Instead of going to Laura’s after, he went straight home. I drove him. He started talking about how I am his only real friend, and that everyone around him is only nice to his face but doesn’t actually have any interest in being his friend. We talked for a while and the conversation ended in me crying, like I do a lot, a hug and then me getting on my knee asking him to be, “my legitimate friend”. He accepted.

It really got me thinking though. He’s right. Maybe it’s just the kids at my school, but around here everyone talks about each other when they aren’t around. It’s truly awful. Ever since I was little, I’ve always thought that every one of my “friends” talks shit behind my back. Sadly, it’s a pretty accurate assumption. Allen and I do it too. It’s the only thing we know. Whenever there is a group gathering and one friend wasn’t able to make it, they would be talked about basically all night. It’s just horrible. And it’s bullying. I don’t know, I just wish more people realized how bad it really is. It’s just so incredibly hurtful to walk into a room and realize that everyone there was just talking about you.

In other news, I’m at my friend Laura’s house right now. If you could call her that. It was supposed to be Laura, Nicole, and I but Nicole wasn’t feeling good so she went home a couple of hours ago. Now it’s just me and Laura. Laura is really um.. I don’t know how to describe her really. She’s just not very pleasant most of the time. Not unpleasant like me, I’m depressed and tired a lot, but more unpleasant like she feels like she is superior to you. She feels like she can blatantly insult you and it’s okay because she says, “no offence” beforehand. I don’t really know how Nicole feels about her. But I know Allen and I mostly hang out with her because she’s hilarious. She’s got a great sense of humor, and she has a lot of the same interests as we do. Sometimes it’s just hard to be around her for a long time. After a while you really start to feel bad about yourself.

I’m still stressing about colleges and finding a job. I really think that I’m just going to wait until I turn 18 before I seriously continue my job search. It just makes sense. I’ll volunteer at the library and soup kitchen for the next ten days I guess. I got a call from one of the colleges I applied to yesterday. And I talked to Steve and decided I’ll visit him on the 28th, take an official tour of the campus, and then have him show me around after. I’m pretty excited. I miss him so much.

Oh, I did get some homework done yesterday! Not a whole lot, but some. I accomplished this by having Nicole sit in my room with me and make sure I worked on my essay. When I started surfing Tumblr or Last.fm she would throw stuffed animals and sweatshirts at me. It was surprisingly effective. I still have a lot of homework left though. I’m supposed to do something with Allen tomorrow, so I guess I’ll have to get it done Sunday or Monday (it’s due Tuesday morning).

Before I go, has anyone ever seen “The Oblongs…”? It’s only on like once a week, Saturdays at midnight on Cartoon Network I believe. It is so hilarious! I’m saying this because I’m watching it right now (on Laura’s DVR) and laughing my ass off. So yeah, if you like laughing, watch Oblongs.

xoxo,

Melanie