Wedding planning, Serving, Nicotine

I just ordered a new black zip up hoodie and on the back it says

GRACE
ROCKY
SAVE
STARS

I’m excited because Project Hail Mary is one of my favorite books and the movie is incredible, and my current black hoodie is getting old and starting to get little holes in it because I wear it like 300 days out of the year #emokidproblems

Also, planning a wedding is stressful. Trying to stay in our budget without compromising quality is going to be a struggle. Plus I hate talking to strangers and with this wedding planning I’m talking to strangers so often. It’s fine though I can do this. I was a server for 7 years and talking to strangers was literally my job, I just need to put on my customer service voice.

I miss serving sometimes. Like, yeah it can be chaotic as fuck and the money is really inconsistent, but there’s a kind of simplicity to it that I miss. It’s hard to explain. Plus there’s the camaraderie between coworkers (usually lol). Plus I was pretty damn good at it and that was satisfying. I wish I could work a serving shift once a month.

Also, quitting nicotine is hard. It’s so damn annoying. I’ve quit nicotine and then started again like 6 times. And Carl is really annoying about it because he’s never smoked and he’s never been addicted to anything so he doesn’t understand why I can’t just – stop. Oh boy do I wish it were that simple. The times I’ve successfully quit smoking were the times that I was the most mentally stable and content with my life. But in a time when I’m stressy and depressy, like now, sometimes I just want a fucking cigarette.

I think it’s time to reread Project Hail Mary

xoxo,

Melanie

p.s. I looked back at my old posts and saw that I always ended them that way, and I’m certain that what I was going for was like in Perks of Being a Wallflower how all the chapters end with Your friend, Charlie. But I can only hear it in my head in the Kirsten Bell’s voice lol

(That’s a Gossip Girl reference)