Kurt

Sophomore year Kurt moved here. The only class we had together was English. I remember thinking that, judging by the band shirts he wore, he had good taste in music. One time he mentioned Kurt Cobain in class and I was the only other student who knew who he was talking about. After that I got his number from someone and started texting him.

From there, he developed a crush on me. He openly told me, and I told him that I only liked him as a friend. He said it was no big deal, and that we should still be friends. Then, about a year later, he moved back to where he originally came from. We kept in touch though, texting and Facebook. From there, I developed feelings for him. I didn’t say anything though, because he had already gotten over me and was dating someone else. Then, last summer, after he and his girlfriend broke up, we decided to hang out. We watched The Breakfast Club at my house and hung out in my room. We didn’t kiss or anything, but there was this energy, like we both liked each other. We spent the whole time flirting and cuddling and it was fantastic.

From there, we continued to text and such, but slowly he stopped replying to my texts. So I gave up trying.

Kurt was always different than any of my other friends, or boyfriends. He knew about my eating disorder and depression and he was always there to listen when I was freaking the fuck out. I really, really liked that.

Anyway, the whole reason I am telling you this, is because he commented on my Facebook status last night. I said something about people taking what I say too seriously, and he commented “So when you said you liked my hair.. you were… oh dear God my life is a lie!”. He then said something about how I never texted him anymore, and I reminded him that it was he who stopped texting me. He messaged me privately after that, saying he was sorry.

I don’t know whether to be excited or worried.

Excited because Kurt makes me happy. and I have not been happy in a very long time.

Worried because last time I started liking him he broke my heart, without explanation.

I’ll just have to see what happens from here.