I was going to post about this yesterday, but I basically forgot. Yesterday at school, I was actually happy for a while. I had a casual conversation with a girl I don’t know in math class (that’s really hard for me, usually), and when I got to French like three seconds after this one kid closed the door, I knocked and we laughed about it. On a normal day, I would awkwardly stroll into class without making eye contact with the kid who let me in. Anyway I just really liked that.
Now on to today. My dad woke me up at nine so we could go help clean out my great uncle’s house. He died a couple of weeks ago, and he was a hoarder. I didn’t know him very well, but I do know that he’s always been pretty weird, and that in the years before he died, he barely ate anything at all. He read somewhere that would make you live to be 100 (he only made it to 93). Anyway, I could not even believe his house. There was stuff everywhere and I was talking to one of my aunts and she said that they’ve been cleaning out the house for a month already. A month. She said that when they first started there was literally no room to walk around. The only clear space was on one half of his bed where he slept and read books. It was really amazing to me because I just can’t imagine that. What goes on in a hoarder’s head? It’s really fascinating to me.
We cleaned for about 6 hours. I was in charge of putting books into boxes. Most of them were Spanish books (weird because he didn’t know Spanish), erotic novels, and encyclopedias. Oh, and I wore my new boots to this outing. In hind-sight, that probably wasn’t a good idea. It was very dirty.
Everyone who helped was me, my dad, my grandma, three of my aunts, two of my uncles, and my cousin Jim. I have lots of cousins, but Jim is probably the only one that I get along with. He’s two years older than me, but he’s a really cool guy. Like Steve, I wish Jim and I had a better relationship. We only spoke to each other once today. He was walking out of the house carrying something and we crossed paths as I was going back in.
He said, “This place gives me the creeps.”
“I know right?”
“I’m uncomfortable just being in it.”
That was it.
I also loved my grandma being there. She’s your picture perfect old lady. Short white hair, talks to everyone like they’re still five, and gives lots of hugs. She’s also very generous. She gave me $20 just for showing up (I spent it later on dinner for Nicole and I). I get annoyed with her sometimes, but I always feel guilty immediately after. She’s just the sweetest woman.
At lunch time, I went with my aunts to get coffee and pizza. My aunts are all really loud, so I fit in with them just great. We went to Starbucks. Which is exciting because we don’t have one where I life, but I gotta say, I was disappointed. It was really awful. I dumped mine out.
After we got back home, I went out to a local coffee shop with Nicole to meet some friends. They were all really obnoxious the whole time. This one girl kept yelling at me because any time I would drop my phone or stub my toe or lose at the game I was playing I would say “piss”.
“Melanie! Stop saying piss! It’s annoying stop it!” She laughed.
I wasn’t laughing though. How is that funny? I don’t know that just really got on my nerves. I’m sorry if she thought it was annoying, but she did not need to keep screaming at me to stop saying it. I don’t know why I hang out with her. She also said it was weird that I tell my friend Allen that I love him and he tells me he loves me. I don’t understand how that is weird, I do love him. He’s probably my best friend. Aaaand, I told her that I wanted to get snake bites and she repeatedly told me not to because snake bites are “gross”. I really don’t like her much.
Speaking of Allen, he texted me while I was out. He was complaining about people only talking to him when they need something, and how no one invites him to do anything and that people only pretend to like him. “im honestly fucking sick of this. and people wonder why im suicidal.” That scared me. He told me once that he used to cut himself, and that he’s contemplated suicide. But the scary part was after that I told him that I love him and asked him if he thought I was one of those people who only talks to him when they need something. I told him, “i’ll always be here. forevaaa”. He never replied. That was over three hours ago and he still hasn’t texted me. I’m worried about him. He recently came out and told his parents that he’s gay, and they were less than accepting. They told him that he is going to hell and that the second he turns 18, they are kicking him out of the house (I told him he could stay in Steve’s old room if he wants). I know that things are rough at home for him, and I know he has problems that he is holding in. I also know that holding in your feelings is never good. I hold in my feelings, and I’m pretty sure that’s how I got so messed up to begin with. I just really wish he would text me back. He really is important to me.
I’m really dizzy and tired so I’m going to end this now. I should really figure out a way to make these posts flow better.
xoxo,
Melanie
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